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Beliefs, whether conscious or not, affect how we move through life.  It’s the intentions we hold within our subconscious minds that determine how we approach life. If you want an exciting, fulfilling life, your beliefs have to match up with your intentions.  There’s no way around it. Our subconscious beliefs determine our quality of life and the outcomes we manifest.

Successful people hold positive ways of thinking and beliefs in their minds.  Their “belief system” supports them in moving through life with a purpose and with the knowledge they can succeed at whatever they attempt.

The person who is not so fortunate in life, tends to view life as if it’s ‘being done to them” and that they have very little control over the outcome. This is an understandable view in many cases -particularly if the person has had hardships early in their life.

Where did these beliefs come from?

Our early life impacts us on very deep levels.  If our childhood was difficult or traumatic, the decisions we make tell us “life is hard”, or “no one in my family gets ahead“.  This then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Someone with this belief doesn’t usually take advantage of opportunities which present themselves.  Because they have the belief that “Life is hard”, they discount an opportunity because it couldn’t possibly work out if it wasn’t difficult. Many times, they don’t even notice the opportunity.  It’s as if they have blinders on.

When you discover and release any of these underlying negative beliefs, your outlook changes, along with your life.  You develop more clarity and can see a clearer path towards your desired outcomes.

When we experience situations or events in our lives, we make a decision about what they mean. We assign a ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ meaning to the event. This is done as a way to avoid future upsets or even dangers.  Depending on prior experiences in life, our decision are based on, and tempered by former decisions we assigned to similar situations. As these similar types of situations repeat and build upon themselves, they reinforce our original belief.  Whether it’s factual or not, it becomes more and more ingrained.

Situations that occurred at an early age in our lives are judged by an immature brain. This brain doesn’t have access to the logical brain.  Because of this, the decisions we made at that point in our lives, aren’t necessarily true for us as adults.  It’s for this very reason you want to go back and reassess past events.  From your adult self, you have the option to decide if these beliefs still hold true.  If they don’t, you can now get rid of them.

Where do I start?

One way to identify any negative, or limiting beliefs is to think back to the messages you heard from your parents while you were growing up.  Things like, “It’s impossible to get ahead“, or “There’s never enough time“.  Then take a look at your life and see whether or not you’ve found yourself living out these messages.  If you are, then there’s  a pretty good chance you hold those beliefs as true, somewhere in your subconscious.

Another reason to take a look at past events, especially the painful ones, is we tend to experience the  “like attracts like” effect.  We continue attracting more of the same into our lives. Until we can shift our perspective, we aren’t able to avoid these reoccurring patterns.

When you go back and release the emotional charges associated with a past emotional event or trauma, you change how you view present day events.  Instead of approaching situations from the stand point of being ‘the victim’ with no control of your own reactions, you actually view them with clarity.  You’re  more present and you have a choice in how you react.

When you do this type of healing work, your response is made from a stronger and clearer place. Consequently, your reactions change, how you approach life changes, and you’re planted firmly on the path to success and happiness. Because of your updated beliefs, you’re naturally filled with more ease and can create an exciting, successful life.

I encourage you to look at what no longer works for you.  Decide to choose success.  Then have the courage to look at the beliefs holding you back. They only stand in the way of you becoming the absolute best version of yourself.
                                                             

sumi@sumijones.com 

(805) 265-9063
Santa Barbara, CA 93101

If you want anything in your life, and you want to achieve it with as much ease as possible, you have to be in complete alignment with it.  This means, you need to be able to commit 100% to having it .
If reaching your goal isn’t 100% congruent with your beliefs, you’ll end up sabotaging the results in some way.

As author, Denise Linn is fond of saying, “The soul loves the truth“.  So does the rest of our being – from our bodies to our minds.  If we somehow harbor beliefs about whether or not we deserve something, are “good enough” to achieve it, or even that “no one in my family has ever had or done this“, we won’t be able to accomplish what we set out to do. We’ll find ways of sabotaging ourselves.  It can be something as simple as missing an appointment, or not noticing when the perfect opportunity shows up to help you. But by becoming completely in alignment with your goals and desires, you’ll find yourself more aware of the steps you need to take. You’ll also find there’s much less struggle involved.  Suddenly you’ll find yourself saying “yes” to a meeting, or proposal that supports what you’re trying to accomplish.  If, in the past you had the belief that “I don’t deserve this“, you might have turned down those opportunities because you didn’t believe enough in yourself.

If you’re looking for more ease in accomplishing your goals, then I suggest you take the time to explore this.  If you can be completely honest with yourself, you might find there are a few reasons you hadn’t been aware of, that stand in your way.  Once you identify them, the next step is to remove them.

Is it easy? Not always. But as you practice this everyday, it becomes more of a habit.   Try it.  See if you can identify the important things you’d like in your life.  Your “noble truths” as they’ve been called, or your “true values”.

Once you’ve identified them, check on how much you’re committed to having them in your life. If it’s not 100%, explore what it is that keeps you from being able to commit.  Are there old beliefs from your life?  Maybe messages from parents, siblings, or teachers?  Whatever they are, choose to change or release them from your belief systems.

Two of the tools I use when working with clients, is by using  EFT and/or FasterEFT.  This technique helps access the subconscious mind. This is the part of the mind where any thoughts or limiting beliefs are stored. When you know what the blocks or beliefs are, you can do the work to get rid of them.  EFT is an excellent tool for doing this. It helps to move quickly through them and release them for good.

Some basic examples of beliefs that hold people back are:

1. Life is hard
2. I don’t deserve this
3. Nobody in my family has ever done this – who do I think I am?
4. It will take too much time or effort
5. My life is too complicated to be able to do this

The list goes on and is personal to each person’s life experience.  The above examples are just a few to help you start thinking.If you want to identify any blocks you could be holding on to, find a time when you won’t be interrupted.  Sit down with a piece of paper and write down any messages you heard growing up that might be the culprits.  Anything a teacher, parent, or older sibling could’ve said. These are usually said with absolute conviction and were meant as a way to help you be responsible in life. Unfortunately, these are the very messages holding us back most times.Some of these messages also come in the form of what we’ve observed about our lives or other people’s lives. If you take the time to do the work regarding this, you’ll be rewarded with better results and more success.

Once you’re able to commit 100%, not only will your awareness open up to different possibilities and ways to achieve success, but your determination will also grow.

I hope you’ll dare to explore what it is that truly brings you joy and then commit 100% to having it in your life.

 

If you’re ready to take your life to the next level, book a complimentary call to see if I can be of service.  You can ask any questions you have and we’ll determine if we’re a mutual fit. 

 

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The people I value the most in my life are the ones who tell me the truth.  These are the ones who have the courage to communicate honestly about how they feel, where they’re at in life, and if I’m doing anything to upset them. They also feel comfortable telling me how much they care about me.

Communicate Honestly

Sometimes we’re afraid to tell our friends or even our family how much they mean to us.  Maybe we’re afraid we’ll feel foolish doing it, or they’ll take it the wrong way.  But what if something happens, to either of you, and you never took that chance? Would that be ok with you, if this were the case?When we’re able to be honest with another person, in essence, you’re saying, “I trust you and care enough about you, to be willing to express who I am and how I feel.” It takes courage to do.

Live Courageously

I try my best to live courageously – as do my closest friends.  We have an unspoken, and sometimes spoken agreement, to be completely honest in how we feel.  It takes a lot of pressure off the relationship. Neither of us has to worry about whether or not we’ve done something upsetting that the other person hasn’t told us about.  We don’t worry that unspoken words will lead to resentments. There’s a wonderful feeling of freedom between us because we operate this way.  We trust the other person to hear what we have to say without feeling as if they’re being attacked or criticized. There’s an understanding we have that says, “I know you’re a fantastic person who always tries to do the best they can.”  So if we have to tell them there’s something they’ve done which felt hurtful to us, or any other uncomfortable emotion, they know we aren’t doubting their integrity as a person.  We also aren’t saying we don’t care about them or find them flawed as a person.  We’re merely giving them a chance to talk about our interaction. We care enough about the person and the relationship we have with them, to work out any misunderstandings.  We care enough to put aside our fears and have the courage to speak up.

We also know the other person wants to hear what we have to say. That we value their opinion and we’re willing to hear if there’s anything we’ve done to create the misunderstanding.

When you communicate honestly, you build trust within your relationships

When there’s this much trust within a relationship, there’s the ability to care deeply for another person. When I have this level of communicating, I’m able to open my heart and take the chance of loving deeply and freely.  I don’t worry that my feelings will get hurt. Yes, people make mistakes and say or do things that can come across as hurtful. But when the people in your life care about you and your heart, they take responsibility for their actions and their words.  If someone says something that hurts your feelings, be willing to talk about it. Ask them if it’s what they meant and let them know how it felt to you.  If you don’t do this, you allow resentments to build. It could’ve just been a miscommunication.  Or there might be something you did to upset them, and it was the only way they could express it at the time.  It’s about caring enough about a relationship to talk to the other person.

When I speak to someone about a situation that upset me, I give them the opportunity to express how they felt, and what they meant.  I’m also giving them the chance to see how it came across. They might choose to change how they interact – or not. It’s up to them, but at least I’ve cared enough about them, and about me, to let them know. It really comes down to how much are you able to care about yourself and care about another person.  Can you express yourself without resorting to anger?  Can you let them know something was upsetting, while at the same time, being respectful towards their feelings? I’m willing to be wrong about a situation, but if I never talk about it, then I’ll never know if I perceived something incorrectly. If something isn’t discussed, resentments build and relationships fall apart.

How much are you able to put yourself out there – with honesty?

My feeling is. if I care enough about someone to have them in my life, then I owe them the best I can give. Which means being honest with them – when they do something I like, as well as when they do something that I don’t like.

If you respect and care enough about a person, then learn to build a relationship where you trust them enough to show who you really are.  When there’s honesty in a relationship, whether a friendship, a family member, or your romantic partner, the ability to be yourself grows.  When you feel this way, you’re able to fully trust them with your heart. You’re comfortable showing them who you are. They’re worthy of your trust. If we can create more relationships in our lives like this, we support other people in having the confidence to be themselves and to show the world who they are.

 

To learn about communicating honestly by removing any doubts or fears you have holding you back, book a complimentary call.  We can discuss your goals, ask any questions you have and we’ll see if we’re a mutual fit. 

 

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Contact Info:

sumi@sumijones.com 

(805) 265-9063

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

I’ve had people say, “What are my values?  And why would I need to know them?”

If you want your life to be fulfilling and less stressful, then you want to be doing what resonates with you as a person.  When you understand what your core values are, you can make choices that are in alignment with what’s important to you.  The end result is you have more ease in your life.

If you don’t know what your values are, you’re liable to find yourself heading in the wrong direction and struggling to find happiness.  You’ll feel at odds with your life or career choice if your values don’t line up with what you’re doing. If you don’t know what your core values are, you’ll be making decisions in your life that aren’t necessarily in your best interest.

What exactly are values?

List of Values

 

The following is a list of some values. While this is only a small list of values, these are examples to get you started thinking about what’s important to you.

1. Abundance
2. Acceptance
3. Balance
4. Beauty
5. Being fit
6. Eating health
7. Have peacefulness in your life
8. Going after challenges
9. Spending time in nature
10. Cooperation
11. Courage
12. Freedom
13. Growth
14. Happiness
15. Helping others
16. Love
17. Loyalty
18. Responsibility
19. Security
20. Trust

 

Spend some time defining your values and you’ll find decision making much easier than before.

When you’re ready to take your life to the next level, or you just want to move through a current challenge, book a complimentary call.  We can discuss your goals and see if we’re a mutual fit. 

 

Your perfect imperfections are just that – perfect!  They make you unique and they make you lovable.

Why let your true self shine?

Your perfect imperfections make you interesting

Think about the times you’ve met someone who has a career or background that’s completely different from anyone you’ve ever met.  Don’t you find this person intriguing and interesting?  They have unique experiences you can learn about.  It’s the very idea they’ve been or done something you aren’t familiar with, that makes them interesting!

People are forever reading about celebrities and what they’re doing in their lives.  This fascination again, stems from the fact that they’re different than most people.  Many of them have quirks which people find attractive.  These celebrities have learned to embrace who they are and even capitalize on it.  When you take the chance to show yourself, people feel how genuine you  are. There’s a magnetism to it.  And allowing your spouse to see this side of you gives them the opportunity to love you for who you really are.

In their book, Be loved for who you really are  Judith Sherven and her husband, Jim Sniechowski explore how our differences add to our relationships – making them fuller.  They discuss the 4 stages of love. From the “honeymoon” phase, to the 2nd and 3rd stages where challenges and differences come up.  They give you a blueprint on what to look for, and how to navigate through these challenging stages. You learn to love your partner for all of their uniqueness.  Finally, if you grow and work through the 2nd and 3rd stage, you reach the 4th and final phase This phase is one of a full and lasting love that also includes the spark and freshness of the “honeymoon” phase.  At this stage though, it also includes the depth of all aspects of love, allowing you to be loved for who you are.

So go ahead.  Embrace your perfect imperfections and show the world and the people around you your unique self.

To identify and release any blocks you have to finding happiness, book a complimentary call to discuss what you’d like to work on and if the work I do is a match.

 

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