If your desire is to have a healthy relationship, one that’s lasting and meaningful, you have to put the relationship first.  This means putting it first over your own momentary feelings. Over your ego, the fear-based self, or your hurt feelings. And over what others might tell you to do.  First off, I never advocate staying in any relationship which is abusive or controlling. That isn’t what I’m talking about here.  What I’m referring to are relationships between two emotionally healthy individuals.

Relationships

A relationship is an ongoing interaction with anyone, whether with your spouse, your child, or a close friend.  Anyone you relate to on a continuing basis is in a relationship with you – even the mail carrier. But especially with your significant other.  These are the people we’re open with and trust our hearts to.   If you want the people in your life to remain open and caring towards you, you have to be gentle with their hearts.  Which means putting the relationship first and caring enough about the other person, where you’re able to respond to them respectfully and in a caring manner.  Even when they’ve completely ticked you off.

Our past affects how we relate to others

We all enter into relationships with past baggage.  The hurts and disappointments we’ve experienced through life.  This can’t help but color how we view other people or interactions.  Even if we’ve done the work to release those past disappointments, being human means we’ll always have some sort of work to do in those areas. Life goes on as we continue to interact with people on a daily basis.  Which means there are new misunderstandings and challenges that continue to come our way from time to time.

If we have experiences where we’ve been hurt, how then do we maintain loving relationships?  How can you have something happen between you that comes across as hurtful, but still be able to put the relationship first?  If you do decide to put the relationship first, it means taking the time to step back and take a breath before you react negatively towards your loved one. You consciously decide that the relationship is more important than your need to lash out or react poorly towards the other person. This isn’t easy, to say the least. But if you aren’t able to cultivate this behavior and react in a mean or angry way, it chips away at the other person’s ability to keep their heart fully open and loving towards you.  They learn to protect themselves by shutting off a little more each time something like this happens.  Ask yourself if ultimately, this is what you want?

Remember – we’re all doing the best we can

We’re all doing the best we can. Even when it doesn’t appear to be that way.  If you can take the time to try and understand why the other person did or said what they did, maybe you can be more caring towards them when you talk to them about what’s on your mind.

As a basic example, imagine you’re driving down the road and a car flies past you and cuts into your lane. You have no idea why this person did this, the general response is to become angry or put out.  But, what if the other driver was a man who’s wife was in labor? Or he just got a call one of his children was in emergency room?  If you were in that situation, you might also be driving fast to get to the hospital and maybe not being as courteous as you could be on the road. We have no idea why another person does what they do.  In the case of a relationship, if it’s someone you love, there’s obviously something lovable about them.  When you can take a breath and not react, maybe you can remember exactly who that person really is and why you love them to begin with.    If you’re able to care enough about them, you realize you don’t want to hurt them. You have the opportunity to choose between reacting angrily or giving them the benefit of the doubt to ask them what was going on.

Yes, this is asking a lot in many instances.  It means you have to step away from your ego and your self-interest at times and see if you can be the bigger person.  When you’re able to speak to another person when it’s not in the heat of the moment, you stand the chance of showing another person you care about them.  Many times you’ll find out it had nothing to do with you at all.  Maybe they had a rotten day and they overreacted towards you. Maybe they’ve been under a lot of stress and just lashed out.

The question to ask yourself is, “Am I willing to begin destroying a relationship over how I respond to this situation?”  Because over time, if you continue to react negatively, you will, in the end destroy a relationship.

Learn to express yourself with respect and kindness

There are two ways in which the Emotional Freedom Technique helps.

• It reduces the intensity of an emotion, and in most cases alleviates it completely.
• It helps to change limiting beliefs into supportive beliefs.  This is my favorite use of EFT.

What I’ve seen in my practice, is that once a person’s awareness or reaction to something changes, it changes how they respond.  The change is usually immediate and can also trickle in over the next few days.  Whereas in the past they might react in a certain way, they now have the confidence and awareness to respond in a positive way that supports them.   If someone has a low self-worth, once they’ve worked with the Emotional Freedom Technique and changed the beliefs they had about themselves, they suddenly are no longer willing to accept poor treatment from others. They value themselves in a way where they speak up when something isn’t fair or doesn’t feel right. Even the actions in life they take are from a place of self-confidence.

How The Emotional Freedom Technique Helps change Limiting Beliefs

The other effect the Emotional Freedom Technique has, is when someone changes their awareness or beliefs, they have a different way of being, a different vibe about them.   If you’re familiar with the theory that  “Like attracts Like”, in the world of manifestation, then you know emotions have been said to have vibrations. How we vibrate around a certain issue, whether it’s lack of money, fear of water,  or low self worth, can determine what we’re attracting to ourselves.  When we change our vibration, it changes what comes into our life.

On a practical note, what we expect to happen, usually does because we’re actually programmed by our beliefs to accept something that perhaps another person wouldn’t. Because of past programming, we’re more open to letting in difficult situations.  We aren’t as apt to notice or deal with a negative situation as it’s forming.

When you rid yourself of limiting beliefs with the help of EFT, you’re  suddenly more aware of new possibilities. You’re no longer closing them out due to  filters created by your  past experiences.   If you have the belief, “I have to work hard to make money“, then you close yourself down to the possibility of thinking outside the box – or coming up with new, easier ways to make money.  Or you might pass up a job that looks “too easy” thinking it won’t be something worthwhile.  If it’s in a field that you actually love doing, that would be much easier than doing something you didn’t like, there can be a tendency to dismiss it because it isn’t “hard to do“.  Doing something you love can take effort, but if you love it, it doesn’t feel like work.

What Exactly is the Emotional Freedom Technique?

So, what is the Emotional Freedom Technique?  It’s a form of acupressure based on the same energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture which are used to treat physical and emotional ailments – only without needles.  It helps to clear any blocks from the body’s ‘electrical ‘system. The technique was developed by Gary Craig and has evolved into other uses and techniques that originally weren’t used.  People are now using it to:

• attract the love of their life
• to increase their abundance
• work on addictions
• release past traumas and the effects they have on your life
• and even to deal with physical aches and pains.

New Study Shows Emotional Freedom Technique Lowers Cortisol Levels

According to PubMed, a scientific study examined the changes in cortisol and psychological distress symptoms of 83 subjects who received a single, hour long intervention.  The subjects were randomly placed in one of 3 groups.  A group receiving EFT.  Another group receiving typical psychotherapy work, and a 3rd group receiving no treatment.

The group using EFT showed statistically significant improvements in anxiety (decrease of 58.34%), depression, (decrease of 49.33%), and overall severity of symptoms, (decrease of 50.5%). The EFT group also experience a significant decrease in their cortisol level (the  hormone released into the body under stress).  Their improvement was a drop of 24.38%, compared to the talk therapy group, (decrease of 14.25%), and No Therapy group (decrease of 14.4%)

It’s simple to do

Simple tapping with the fingertips is used on specific meridians on the head, face, and chest while you think or talk about a specific problem.  These include, but aren’t limited to addictions, traumatic events, phobias and fears, even weight loss.  Each acupuncture point is linked to certain organs and emotions within the body.  It works to clear the “short circuit” from your body’s energy system, thereby restoring your mind and body’s balance.  But it does much more.  It quickly accesses the subconscious mind where our memories, thoughts and beliefs are stored.  When faced with any situation, the programming or beliefs of the subconscious mind always wins out over the conscious mind.  This is why traditional talk therapy many times doesn’t work to change a person’s emotional state around a certain issue.

Sometimes some people are wary of the principles that the Emotional Freedom Technique is based on.  The electromagnetic energy that flows through the body and regulates our health has only recently become recognized in the Western World.  Keep in mind that an EKG measures exactly this in the heart – the energetic electrical pulses of the heart.

Over my years in practice, I’ve witnessed miraculous shifts in people through EFT.  To see someone walk out of my office in complete relaxation and peace of mind, compared to how they initially walked in, is truly wonderful to see.

The basics to learning EFT are learning the tapping locations and technique, as well as what to say during the rounds.  Many problems have been dealt with, successfully, by applying EFT.  The more specific you can be about an issue you’re working on, the more success you’ll have – and in a shorter amount of time.  The key to being successful with EFT, is to be precise with what the problem is.  The more precise you can be, the more success you’ll have.  Because of this, oftentimes, it’s better to work with an EFT practitioner.  This is especially true if you’re not getting the results you want, or your issues are around a traumatic event. Keep in mind that if you’re working on an issue that is deep-seated, or something that was ongoing for an extended period of time, there will be layers to it.  This needs to be dealt with gently, and usually over several sessions.

The basic EFT tapping sequence is straightforward and generally takes people only a few minutes to learn. My clients have the advantage of being shown the tapping points in person, but you should be able to pick up these points relatively quickly. With just a little practice, you should feel comfortable performing each round in a minute or so.

NOTE: While it’s important to tap the correct area, you don’t need to worry about being absolutely precise. Since you’ll be using several fingertips at once to tap, you’ll be covering the general area. What’s more important is being able to identify the exact issue or problem. The more precise you can be about it, the better your results.

The first thing to understand is that you will be doing the EFT tapping with your finger tips. There are a number of acupuncture meridians on your fingertips.  Generally, you would use 3 or 4 fingers held together.  While you’re tapping with your fingers, you’re also activating the meridians in your fingers.  The acupuncture lines also run up your arm, thereby giving the added benefit of activating these points as well.

Traditional EFT tapping has you tap with the fingertips of only one hand, but you can tap with either hand, both hands at the same time, or switch back and forth between hands. It’s what feels right for you. I find that with particularly old or deep issues, I prefer tapping with both hands or at least switching back and forth so both sides of the body points are activated.  By switching to different hands, you’re activating each side of the brain.

If you wear glasses or a watch, it’s helpful to remove them prior to tapping.

How to do EFT Tapping – the sequence

This is a brief explanation of how the process is done.

• Start by rating the intensity of the problem.  Give it a score from 1-10, with 10 be the highest level of intensity.
• Then begin on the Karate point, or the Sore Spot point – whichever one feels right to you.
• While tapping on the above point, state the problem.  This is usually done 3 times in a variety of sentences
• Then go to the problem, continuing down the points, talking about the problem
• After you’ve finished a few rounds, ending up at the top of the head, recheck the intensity level. I should’ve lowered.
• You’ll repeat the process, starting at the set up phrase, which could have changed with your results from before and then continue with your rounds.
• The idea is to get the intensity down to a “1” or “0”.

If you find yourself in a stressful situation, even one in public, you can use EFT to lower your level of anxiety or emotional response. If you’re in public, merely rub the collarbone point or you can put your hands behind your back and rub the Karate chop while thinking phrases to yourself that you would normally say out loud. For EFT to work, it’s not necessary to always be tapping – rubbing works just as well.

Another way to access the Emotional Freedom Technique, is to the used the simplified method of EFT, developed by Steven Welles, EFT master from Australia.

You would do the same set-up phrases and then proceed to tap on the finger points shown below:

These access EFT points through the fingers and can be used during the day even when you’re driving.

Try the Emotional Freedom Technique on anything.  The uses are limitless.  Some of the things people have used EFT for, and been successful with are:

1. weight loss
2. manifesting
3. physical pains
4. phobias and fears
5. anxiety
6. clutter clearing

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Are you doing what you love in life?  Or do you find you’ve put aside your dreams and aspirations for different reasons?  Maybe you don’t have time, or you feel you have too many responsibilities to devote to other activities. Maybe you were told as a child that “Doing what you love is only for children.  When you grow up, you have to become responsible.”  If you think about it though, there are many people in the world doing what they love, and being responsible.  So it is possible.  Ask yourself how much better you’d feel if you were doing what you love?  This can be something you’d want to do as a career, or something you’d like to take up as a hobby.  Whichever it is, it doesn’t matter. If it excites you or fills you with joy, why wouldn’t you be doing it?

What is the price we pay for not being in touch with who we are and what we love doing on the deepest of levels?  When we’re not doing what we love, it can feel as if a little part of our self dies. The feeling of being fully alive just isn’t there.  But maybe you’re not sure what it is you’re passionate about.  One of the keys to getting in touch with what makes our souls sing, is to remember what it was we loved as a child.  What are the things you loved as a child, but might have forgotten?  This is a good place to start and is usually in line with your passions – even as an adult.  If you can’t come up with anything, think of something you’ve always wanted to try, but haven’t done yet.  What are the reasons you haven’t tried it yet?  What’s one thing you can do that puts you more in touch with what you love?  Do you have the courage to try something different?  If not, why not?  Maybe you were told “that’s for children“, or “it’s a “waste of time“?

Don’t let fear stand in the way of doing what you love

Fear is one of the things that can stand in our way of experimenting and just taking a chance.  As we mature and go through life, there’s a tendency to shut down and shut out all of the things which brought us real joy.  This can happen from disappointments or not being able to achieve the goals we’ve set for ourselves.  If you find you have some fears around taking a chance, try to examine them and see if you can let them go.  If you’re having trouble releasing them, this is where an EFT session can be helpful.  The unbiased view of another person can help to unravel what keeps you stuck in fear or hesitation when it comes to taking a chance.

It’s been said the key to knowing our true destiny is to follow our hearts. What brings us joy is ultimately what we’re meant to be doing.  It’s the barometer for our lives.

I’ve found the things we’re most afraid of, tend to be the things which bring us the most growth and feelings of accomplishment when we work at doing them.  Someone once said, “Don’t die with the music inside“.  If we hold back our gifts and what really makes our hearts sing, we’re not only robbing ourselves of joy, but also the entire world around us. Think of the benefits if everyone explored their dreams.  How many more discoveries would happen?  How many more beautiful works of art would be present in the world?  How much more alive do you think people would feel?

When I was a child, I spent hours every day looking at pictures of horses and ballet dancers.  I’d draw pictures of them or read about them for hours on end.  I went on to join one of the greatest ballet companies in the world.  After I retired from dancing,  I went into training horses and ended up competing and training on  a National level.  These were my dreams and I was lucky enough to have had a  mother who encouraged dreams.

Pursue your dreams

Have the courage to explore and then pursue your dreams.  It seems that whatever we love is what we’re meant to be doing – even when it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.  The people who are the most successful at their careers, are the ones who follow their dreams with pure passion.  Nothing stands in their way.  There’s an aliveness to them.  It’s contagious and inspiring.

One of the things you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with people who are pursuing their dreams and passions.  People who understand how important it is to follow your dreams.  It’s a wonderful way of supporting your growth and happiness.  When you’re surrounded by people like this, there’s more of a tendency to feel comfortable and inspired to do what you love.  Each of you supports each other just by having the enthusiasm to live life in this manner.

When I was growing up, I was fortunate to be surrounded by people who were passionately going after what they loved.  They were artists and dancers who wholeheartedly followed their hearts and dreams.  It was an honor to grow up around such courageous individuals.  There was no other way – it’s all we knew.  What a fun time we had in the process.  Those of us who were dancers, have moved on to different careers – some includes a part of dance. Others are pursuing something in different fields.    But these same people are now successful and accomplished in other areas of their lives.  They learned at an early life to follow through – to have the courage to pursue what they loved and the discipline to see it through.  As a result, they’re still following their hearts and doing something they love.

My hope is that more people will have the courage to explore their dreams and bring them out into the world.   I hope you will give yourself permission to follow what you love.

To read about defining your passion, go to: What is your passion?

 If you want to find out what blocks you from following your dreams or goals,  book a complimentary call.  We can discuss ways in which you can get rid of the blocks. 

Do you feel resentful towards someone?  You know it doesn’t feel good, but you’re not sure how, or if you want to let go of this resentment. What if you knew resentment was damaging to your physical health? Would you still want to hold onto that resentment? Or would you try to find ways in which to let it go?

It’s been said, “Holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.”

We’re the ones who suffer any damage, not the other person.  In fact, according to Carsten Wrosch, an associate professor of psychology at Concordia University in Montreal and author,  “studies have shown that bitter angry people have higher blood pressure and heart rate, and are more likely to die of heart disease and other illnesses.”

Short Term Anger isn’t Necessarily a Bad Thing

Dr. Charles Raison, clinical director of the Mind-Body Program at Emory,  states that feeling this way in the short term might not be dangerous – it might even be helpful to fight off an enemy – but the problem with bitterness is that it goes on and on. When our bodies are constantly primed to fight someone, the increase in blood pressure and in chemicals such as C-reactive protein eventually take a toll on the heart and other parts of the body. Physiologically, when we feel negatively towards someone, our bodies instinctively prepare to fight that person, which leads to changes such as increase in blood pressure.  “We run hot as our inflammatory system responds to dangers and threats,” he says.  “The data that negative mental states cause heart problems is just stupendous,” Raison says. “The data is just as established as smoking and the size of the effect is the same“.

But maybe you have a situation you’re so angry about that you feel it’s impossible to let go of resentment.  Would you like to let go of the resentment, but feel you suffered such an injustice, you’re not sure that you can?

If holding on to resentment is so bad for us, wouldn’t it make sense to let go of  the resentment?  Holding on to resentment is tied to self-worth.  We want to know that our feelings of being hurt or the unfairness of what happened to us, is valid.  By holding on to resentment, we somehow feel justice will happen.  But it doesn’t. It only causes you more pain.

When you realize your health and happiness are more important than holding a grudge or resentment, you can choose to let it go. You have to decide if holding on to these negative emotions is really worth it.

What if you can’t get past the anger or feelings of hurt?

Sometimes it’s not as easy as we’d like to let go of the resentment and anger.  Sometimes we still feel the emotions quite strongly.  This is where either EFT, or FasterEFT can be helpful. It helps you move quickly through intense emotions. You can work out the anger and resentment in a fairly short amount of time, giving you the ability to easily let it go.

One thing to remember, is to be as specific as you can be when tapping.  Below is a general example of how to tap.  However, to completely collapse the anger and resentment, you’ll want to work through all the parts of what happened to you to cause the resentment.

Letting Go of Resentment – Steps you can Take

Below I’ve included examples of some EFT rounds you can use to release these feelings.  If you’re unfamiliar with the EFT Tapping points or technique, here’s a link explaining how to do EFT.

Before starting the rounds, it’s helpful to get a gauge on the intensity of the emotion you’re dealing with. In this case anger and resentment.  Rate the level of the emotion from 0-10.  0 being no intensity at all, and 10 being the highest possible level.  After a round or 2,  you’ll recheck the intensity to see how it’s progressing.

Starting with the set-up phrase on the karate point:
“Even though, I have all of this anger and resentment towards____________, I accept myself and how I feel.
“Even though I can’t let go of this anger and resentment, I deeply and profoundly accept who I am and how I feel”
“Even though I’ve been holding on to this anger and resentment, it’s time to let them go so I can move on with my life”

1st Round:

Eyebrow: “I’m so angry at ___________________________________.  What they did was wrong and I haven’t let it go. I’m not even sure I can. :
Side of eye:  “All this anger:”
Under the eye: “I can’t let it go”
Under the nose: “I don’t want to let it go”
Chin: “Maybe I do. I know it’s hurting me, not them.”
Collarbone: “I’m just not sure I can”
Under the arm: “All of this anger”
Liver point: “It’s time I let it go.”
Top of head: “My health and well-being are worth  more than keeping this anger and resentment”
Eyebrow: “It’s time to let it go and I’m doing that now“
Side of eye:  “I’m letting go of the resentment and anger little by little”
Under eye: ” it’s moving out of my body now. I’m ready and I’m more than this anger.I’m letting go of this anger as a way to take care of myself”
Under nose: “Maybe I don’t want to let it go.  Maybe I DO”
Chin:“It’s moving out now.”
Collarbone:  “I can feel it moving out of my body”
Under arm: “All this anger and resentment”
Liver point: “All of this anger and resentment – completely leaving my body”
Top of head: “I’m releasing all of this anger and resentment, and that feels good”

Take a breath and see how you feel.  What’s the rating on the intensity scale of your anger and resentment if you established a *SUD level rating before you started?  Keep tapping and exploring the different aspects of the resentment and why you might be holding on to a small portion of it, if it doesn’t move out completely.  Work on it until the intensity level is at least as low as a “2” or “1”.

Once you’ve let go of all of the resentment and anger, it’s nice to finish with a round of positive tapping. Below is an example:

Eyebrow: “I’m grateful I’ve go of those negative emotions”
Side of eye: “I appreciate how peaceful and relaxed I feel”
Under eye: “I appreciate being able to feel so relaxed”
Under nose: “I”m grateful for the peace I feel inside.
Chin: “I’m happy I now have this new energy to use towards positive things in my life”
Collarbone: “I’t feels great to be free of the anger and resentment”
Under arm: “I’m grateful for this peacefulness
Liver point: “I’m grateful to have the tools to release these negative emotions”
Top of Head: “I appreciate these feelings of calm and peacefulness.”

*The SUD Scale or SUD Level is an abbreviation for “subjective levels of disturbance”.  To determine the SUD Level, a person is asked, “On a scale from 10-0, 10 being the highest possible level of disturbance or discomfort, and 0 being no disturbance or discomfort at all, where would you say you are right now?

With EFT, the more specific you can be, the better your results are.  If you can identify the cause of the resentment, as well as any accompanying emotions, you’ll have a better rate of success in letting go of all of it.

  If you want to find out how to let go of resentment so you can find ease, book a complimentary call.  We’ll discuss your goals and see if we’re a mutual fit. 

If you knew you couldn’t fail, how would you approach life, goals, or challenges?

Take a moment to consider a situation or goal in your life.  Does it seem attainable to you, or does it seem out of your reach?  Maybe you have some doubt about the outcome.  Allow yourself to feel what it would be like, right now if you were in the situation of having achieved your goal. The more vivid you can make it, the better. What are the sensations in your body?  What are the emotions it brings up?  Are you able to imagine a positive outcome?  If not, what are the challenges or obstacles that get in the way?  Just note each of these without any judgment about them.  This is just for your information.

Now imagine for a moment, that you knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt you couldn’t fail. Whatever it was you wanted, your goal or the outcome to a certain situation, would be a guaranteed win.  How would you approach this situation differently?  Would you put more time into it?  Would you keep going, even if you came up against blocks or delays?  Would you find yourself more confident and determined?  How do you feel now about the emotions or challenges you noticed before when you imagined the goal or situation?  Do they feel as strong as they did before?  Or were you able to really get a sense of how you’d keep going, if the going was tough?

When you know you can’t fail, you don’t let anything stop you

When we come from the position of knowing we won’t fail, we have more confidence to keep going until we accomplish what it is we’re after.  We aren’t stopped by our own judgments or criticisms. Or by anyone else’s. We don’t allow other people’s opinions to change our course of action. We just keep going with the faith we’ll succeed.

When I began to adopt this way of thinking, I noticed I didn’t let setbacks stop me.  I even had more energy and enthusiasm for what it was I was tackling.  I also noticed something else.  I began to look at everything in my life, even the small tasks throughout the day, as if I would succeed.  It wasn’t limited to just the bigger goals.  The feeling seemed to grow upon itself and I felt more positive about everything I did.

Begin the Process by asking “What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?”

Start by looking at what you want to accomplish.  This can be anything – big or small.  Then ask yourself,”What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?”  What steps would you take, what decisions or actions would you implement that you’ve been stalling on?  When you really let yourself imagine it from this point of view, you find you start having a more positive outlook regarding anything you attempt. You’ll also find you’re more willing to take risks on new endeavors.  Try to do this on a regular basis.  Make it a habit until you view everything you attempt, with the idea that you won’t fail.

It’s not failing, if you’re trying – It’s learning

The interesting thing you’ll discover, is that, even though you might makes mistakes along the way, as long ass you keep putting in effort, and monitoring any changes you might neeed to make, you’re succeeding.  Because you’re moving forward, and you’re learning what works or what adjustments you need to make.

Sometimes you won’t get exactly what it was you were going for.  But what you will find, is that it ends up being the perfect outcome to that situation. If you stay open, it will lead you to an even better situation than you had imagined. If you have the courage to keep going, and to remain open-minded, you’ll see that you’re guided by circumstances to even better results.

Sometimes the road forks off to the left. If you have the confidence that you won’t fail, you’re more willing to follow that fork in the road and see exactly where it leads.  It becomes an exciting adventure.  Instead of holding on tightly to the straight narrow path you first came up with, when you know you won’t fail, you;re more open to making different or better-suited choices.  There’s more fluidity to your decisions, which isn’t turn, create better results.

I encourage you to begin experimenting with what it is you’ve always dreamed of doing and approach it with the knowledge that you can’t fail.  Not always getting the exact results we want isn’t a failure. It’s information that we need to possibly take a different direction. Stay open and excited about life.  And believe you can’t fail.

To learn more about taking, small, yet manageable steps towards your success, Jeff Olson has an excellent book, The Slight Edge .  In it he discusses how committing to small steps each day, has profound results on the quality of your life.  By taking these small steps, they culminate into big changes over time.  It’s a quick and easy read with lots of inspiration.

“How can I find my passion?”   What if you aren’t even sure you have a passion?  Or maybe it’s been so long since you really loved doing anything in particular.  We’ve all heard about “Living our passion” or “Living a passionate life”.  But many people aren’t able to access what their passion, or passions are.

What can I do to find my passion?

We knew what we loved doing as a child.  So why is it we have trouble tapping into those passions now?  As we grew up, we were told by many well-meaning people, that it was more responsible to do things that earned us a living.  To focus on “responsible things”, rather than dreaming – that we should leave those desires and passions in our childhood.   But if we do, we lose the very essence of who we are as people.  When we live our life out loud and with passion, we‘re essentially living our purpose.  Our joy is our gauge to knowing what we’re meant to be doing in this life.  Is it really irresponsible then, to do the things we’re passionate about?  I don’t believe it is.

What I’ve found, is if we aren’t fully alive, if we aren’t doing and living our passion, we lose the very essence of what makes us unique.  We lose sight of what we can accomplish in this world.  Actions driven by purpose and passion are the ones which make the most difference in the world and to the lives of others.  Passions drive us to strive for more, to be better people, and create from the heart.

Identify What Your Passions Were As a Child

If you’ve ever thought, “How can I find my passion?” start by identifying what it was you liked doing as a child. Make a list.  Add to it the list of things you have any interest in now.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be your passion, but something you find interesting. This is a starting point.  As you begin this process, more ideas will come to mind.  For now, just begin the process and follow where it takes you.  Your more you allow your creativity to work, the more the ideas will come.  Don’t judge them.  Just write them down.  You can edit them later.  If you criticize each one as they pop up, you’ll close down your creativity.  Once you have your list, go over it and keep the ones that appeal to you the most. Then take action on them.  Start to explore ways to do them, learn more about them and become involved.

What’s holding you back?  Is Self-Judgment Getting In The Way?

Many times our judgments about our self  keeps us from taking action. Just the idea of thinking about a particular subject can bring up a whole list of judgments or criticisms we have about ourselves.  The first place to begin is to see if you’re harboring any frustrations, judgments, or resentments about not being able to find your passion. If you do have any of these, your focus and energy are being pulled away from what you want to do, which is to discover your passion.  Letting go of the these thoughts gives you more freedom to explore what it is you do want.

A tool I use with my clients to let go of any judgments or blocks they have to discovering their passion, is EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique.  I use both EFT and FasterEFT to quickly move through blocks or limiting beliefs.  By tapping on specific acupuncture points while talking about an issue, the conscious and subconscious mind are able to make rapid changes. You’re able to access and release beliefs, blocks or emotions that get in the way of what you want.

Take A Chance – Experiment With What You Want To Do

Once you’ve let go of any judgments you have, and you’re willing to explore what it is you’re passionate about, just begin.  Be willing to try different things.  Until you do, you won’t know if it’s a match for you.

How To Use EFT To Clear Judgments

Below are some examples of  EFT rounds you can use to start the process of discovering your passion.  The more precise you can be with what holds you back, the better.  These will get you started and you can build from there.

• Even though I’m frustrated because I have no idea what my passion is, I accept who I am and how I feel.
• Even though I haven’t found out what my passion is, maybe I’m afraid to find it, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
• Even though part of me is afraid to find my passion because then I’d have to take action on it, I deeply and profoundly accept who I am and my feelings about this.

Now for the rounds done on the other tapping points:

Eyebrow: I can’t find my passion
Side of Eye:  I’m frustrated because I don’t know what my passion is 
Under Eye: I wonder what’s holding me back from finding it?
Under Nose: Maybe I’m afraid.  This fear and hesitation about finding my passion
Chin: If I find my passion, then I’ll have to do something about it  
Collarbone: Maybe I’m not ready to take action on my passion 
Under arm: But this hesitation is holding me back
Head: Maybe I can start letting go of some of this hesitation and  fear 

Take a breath.  Then check to see how you feel and if any other thoughts came up.  When these thoughts pop up, they’re information on what you need to look at.

Now for the 2nd round – Begin with a 2nd set-up phrase:

• Even though a part of me is afraid to find my passion, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
• Even though I’ve been holding back and haven’t found my passion, I’ve decided to let go of some of this resistance and fear
• Even though a part of me is still holding back, a bigger part of me knows what that passion is and I choose to go with that bigger part of me

Tapping round:

Eyebrow:  A part of me is still afraid to find my passion, but I’m going with the part of me that’s excited to find my passion
Side of Eye:  I’ve been  holding back, but it’s time to let go of the fear and hesitation
Under Eye: I’m letting those go now
Under Nose: I’m letting go of what holds me back from discovering my passion
Chin: I can discover my passion and then decide when and how I take action
Collarbone: I don’t have to take action right away
Under arm: I can do it in the timing that feels right for me
Top of Head: I’m letting go of my hesitation and opening to finding my passion now

Take a breath and see how you feel.

Here’s to discovering and living your passion.

If you want to explore what blocks your passion, success or happiness, book a complimentary call to discuss your goals and to see if we’re a mutual fit.