What Makes You Come Alive? Find It and Live It.

Too often we try to fit in.  We don’t want to stick out and we’re afraid to shine.  It can feel too vulnerable, scary, or just a little too risky.  But….it also clamps down on your energy level and the spark inside you that really lights you up.  You can’t have it both ways.  You can’t play it safe and expect to be fully dialed into who you are and what brings real meaning to your life.  You won’t feel fully alive.  If you want to feel energized, joyful, and with a real purpose in life, you have to step fully into who you are.

I know I did my fair share of not really honoring who I was, or putting myself out there.  When I changed careers, I thought I’d be “too weird“, or my work wouldn’t be accepted.  But when I realized I was robbing the people I was meant to help, I knew I had to let go of any my fears and just do it. This meant letting go of past experiences I’d been through that were keeping me from doing my work in a committed way.  I realized that my love of helping people was too strong of a pull for me to ignore it just because I was trying to avoid stepping into who I really was.

What are some of the reasons people are afraid to shine or really tap into who they are?  It all boils down to fear, or the need to protect ourselves.  Some of those fears are:

1. Other people’s reactions – someone will criticize you, make fun of you, or won’t accept you
2. Not fitting in – “My family/friends won’t like who I am anymore. I won’t fit in.”
3. Making a mistake, a fool of yourself, or being humiliated
4. Afraid you don’t have what it takes to do what it is you want
5. Having to actually take action on a big goal if you step into your power, gifts, or inner strengths.  Once you know what really makes you come alive, you feel driven to do  it – a good way.  But knowing you have to take action, can cause you to procrastinate.  It brings up other underlying fears to look at.

Fear of failure is one aspect – Fear of success is another

Our fears stem from feeling threatened, which translates to the primitive brain’s need to survive. Depending on what the particular reason you have behind the fear, and how traumatic or challenging it was, you’ll do anything to play it safe and not stick out. It could be any reason – from having been embarrassed at school, being made fun of by someone when you were younger, or having someone expect too much from you when you did put yourself out there.  It could even be, “What if I have to give up too much of my free time, if I really step into what I’m supposed to be doing?”  Whatever the reason, it’s important you work through these fears or emotions because the world needs what you have to offer.  

There’s only one you, and what you have to offer is unique.  It could be in the same field as another person, but what you bring to the table and how you do it, is uniquely yours.  Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I really willing to dummy down who I am, just to feel comfortable and safe?  
2. If I don’t do it now, looking ahead, 3 years, where will I be?  Am I happy seeing myself in the same situation, not fully expressing who I am?
3. What will it take for me to be willing to step into who I am and fully come alive?

If you continue playing it safe, somehow life, your soul, or the Universe finds a way to make it a little too uncomfortable to stay hidden.  I’ve seen people drop into depression when they weren’t honoring their truth and who they really were.  Or other people who’s lives just got tougher and tougher until they finally surrendered and said, “Ok, I’ll do it!”  Interestingly enough, once they did let go of their fears and stepped up to being themselves, their lives turned around, dramatically.  Life flowed easier and they found real happiness and fulfillment.

My hope is you’ll use the courage it takes to find the truth of who you are, and then express it to the world.  We certainly need it.  Now more than ever.