To have harmony and ultimately happiness, it’s important to have balance in relationships. All of your relationships. Whether it’s friendships, marriages, or even work relationships, balance is important.
Balance in Relationships
Many people don’t think about balance. It’s not always something that comes naturally. Because the human brain is designed to be efficient, it makes decisions about whatever we experience. These can be events, people, relationships, really anything. The brain then places these into categories. This is true of objects, people, or relationships. Once the brain has made this decision, it goes about relating to the person, object, etc, in the same manner each time. It’s meant as a way to simplify life. So, why is this a problem?
How the Brain Can Undermine The Balance in Relationships
How does efficiency impact a friendship?
How this impacts relationships is, if you have a friend who always seems to have problems or disasters in their life and you rush in to help out – lending emotional support or any other kind of support, their brain categorizes you as “the helper, saver, or person to turn to, in disasters.” They can unconsciously view you as the person they go to when they have a problem. If they aren’t aware of the brain’s tendency to categorize, they view you in only one way – the receive, you give. The relationship then becomes unbalanced. Whenever you need support, they don’t seem to be there. They might not step in to help. It’s as if they have blinders on and can’t comprehend your need for support or help.
But this takes a toll on you. You don’t receive the support or nurturing that’s important to everyone. While giving is an honorable thing to do, it isn’t fair if that’s all you do. It isn’t fair to you, and ultimately, it isn’t actually fair to the other person. When you act in a balanced way and expect others to do the same, you’re giving them the opportunity to grow as a person. To relate to you in a fair and balanced way. The relationship only grows stronger because of it. If not, resentments build and the relationship begins to deteriorate.
When you’re able to give as well as receive, you feel more balanced. It gives you a feeling of completeness because you’re acting in a way which is more holistic to the human emotions.
You Have a Choice
Change Isn’t Always Easy – For both sides