Are You Giving Too Much?

If you’re highly sensitive or someone who does healing work, such as massage, personal coaching, therapy, or energy work, do you find at the end of the day, you’re exhausted?
giving too much

If You’re Overly Tired At the End of the Day, You’re Giving Too Much

While you probably love what you do and even feel energized by it, when you’re finished for the day, if you’re exhausted, this means you’re giving too much.  
A person who works with people, helping them feel better or heal, is someone who’s extremely giving and nurturing.  It’s in their nature to care and want to give their very best.  The trap though can be that you give too much of yourself in each session.  You want the other person to have relief, but if you end up exhausted, feeling completely spent at the end of the day, you’ve overly invested in the other person’s recovery.  This can also be true of people who don’t necessarily work in this professional arena, but who are overly caring towards their friends, family, or co-workers.

Being Overly Invested or Giving Too Much Isn’t Good For Either of You

While your intentions are good, you’re actually not serving the other person or yourself.  When you extend yourself to the point of exhaustion, this is a red flag, alerting you to the fact that you’ve taken on the other person’s issue.  Because it might seem as if it’s “not so hard for you to do“, “I really want them to feel better”, or “I want to give them their money’s worth“, what you’ve actually done is robbed them of whatever it is they need to learn.  As someone once said, “You’re robbing them of their journey.’  

The Challenges Are Here to Help Us Grow

are you giving too much

Challenges in anyone’s life are designed to help them grow and follow the path they’re meant to travel.  If you help too much, you’re slowing them down. They’re on whatever journey they’re meant to travel. If you help too much, they might not feel what they need to feel in order to try harder or shift course.  It isn’t up to us to take away another person’s challenge.  It’s up to us to offer support in just the amount that’s appropriate.

Reasons Why We Give Too Much

In my own life, for me it turned out to be many aspects.  When anyone gives too much there are usually layers of why they do.  One of the strongest aspects for me was that I could feel someone else’s pain.  Being an empath, I feel another person’s emotions acutely.  Until I learned to allow someone to feel difficult emotions without trying to “fix it’ or be “overly helpful”, I found I was wearing myself out.  
doing too much gap
We have to learn to disengage and know that the other person, for whatever reason, needs to go through what they’re going through. By having this belief, not only do you take care of your own needs by not overextending, but you also send the message that you really do believe in the other person’s ability to create their own healing.  We all sometimes need to feel extremely uncomfortable before we’re willing to move past the fear of change.  When you hold support in a healthy and balanced way, you allow for this to happen.
As professionals in the healing community, it’s our job to support their journey, not do it for them.  To be the person who says, ‘I know you’re struggling, and it might be really hard right now, but I know you can do it.” 
Until someone takes full responsibility for their own healing though, they haven’t really stepped into their power.  When they do, it gives them a sense of ownership and courage.  They can feel their own strength.
If you have a hard time disengaging and giving an appropriate amount in your sessions, explore what might be causing you to give too much.  In an upcoming blog, I’ll cover what makes people give too much and ways to change this.  Check back weekly for new blog posts.

If you’re ready to take your life to the next level, book a complimentary call.  We can discuss our goals.  You an ask any questions you have and we’ll see if we’re a mutual fit. 

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